How Can Anyone Get Mugged Twice?-From London With Love!

     The first time I was mugged in London, was at Knightsbridge Station while walking through the crowded subway tunnel that led to the famous Harrods department store.

    When I felt a slight tug at my leather shoulder bag, bought especially for my overseas trip. 

 I quickly glanced behind me. 

Nothing!

 I must have imagined it I thought, and continued on my way.

   Seconds later I felt another tug. This time it was much harder!  I quickly spun around, knocking into a very tall dark but not handsome man staring down at me. 

He was clutching a folded newspaper in close to his chest which just happened to be in my line of vision. And then I saw it!....my red leather wallet! 

Also bought especially for my big overseas trip!

There it was!...tucked under the folded newspaper clutched in this stranger's hand.

'You've got my wallet' I screeched as I reached up and snatched it back from him!

I don't know who was more shocked, him, or me! We both stared at each other in shock. 

Suddenly, he turned and took off at great speed back into the crowded tunnel

 and disappeared out of sight.

Stunned, I stood rooted to the spot!....What had I just done?...Had I just stopped a thief in his tracks?

I couldn't believe my pluck!... What pluck?... I don't have 'pluck'!....

I am not at all....  'plucky!'....

Suddenly I began to shake all over. I was falling apart!

 By this time people began to gather around me.

'Are you alright luv?... Blimey!...  you were quick!'.

'No luv, you were silly to do that!' said another...'you don't know what these types could do to you!....you've got to be so careful around these parts.....you know...This is London!.. and you're in an underground tunnel for God's sake!...this happens all the time!

'Come on luv, pull yourself together' chimed another, 'look we'll walk with you for a bit, okay?'

Trembling from both shock and embarrassment, I put my wallet back into my bag and continued walking with my new found friends.

After a few steps I felt something slide against my leg and plop on to my foot. I looked down and there was my wallet!

When I bent down to pick it up I saw that there was a trail of contents strewn on the ground.

They must have fallen out of my bag!

I really was falling apart!

I was helped to gather my things and put them in my bag.  But, no sooner had they been replaced, than they fell out again!

'What the?.. 'What's going on here?! .. I gasped as I began to pick everything up again...

' Blimey!...Look!  Here's what's wrong!' someone shouted......''ere look, your bags been slashed!...he must've cut it with a razor!'....No!.. more like a scalpel to slice it like that!! ....'you're lucky 'e didn't slice into you too!..gaw' blimey!

Ouch! I winced at the thought as I examined my bag. Sure enough the slash had cut right through the leather and it's lining.

That must have been the hard tug I'd felt as the scalpel cut through the leather!

I looked at my now empty bag in disbelief!...it had been cut in half!

More people gathered around helping to retrieve the once more scattered contents of my now ruined bag,... saying, 'Never mind luv, look, 'ere's a plastic bag, just put your things in this, until you can get another bag, you 're almost at Harrods, you can buy a new one in there okay?'

I found my way to the handbag department, and as I was studying some bags on display, 

a voice came from behind,

 'Can I help you Madam?...or..er.. are you being served?'...I turned  to face 'the voice' and gasped

 'Oh! Yes! er Oh No!'  'Oh My God! are you?'.........'Oh! No Madam!

 Many people think I am .....No! I am not John Inman!'..

'But, you look just like him, and..you even sound like him!'

'Thank you Madam, but I am not John' he smiled, as he ran a finger from one eyebrow and then across to the other.....

When I managed to stop staring at him, I told him of my plight, and that I needed a new shoulder bag, a tough leather, one that could resist the scalpel.. perhaps?

'Oh dear! Madam,..... let me see, ah! there's this one, beautiful leather, and I think tough to resist any shall we say Madam.... 'sharp instument'.......and the natural color ...it would go with everything...Here, try this'.

It was as he said, beautiful leather, and it was very smart, also within my budget...'Mmm

yes, I do like this one'......I said, staring at him again, I was 'watching 'Mr Inman' at work here!.....and I was saying.'Oh yes! I will take it!

'Oh you will be happy with this one Madam....and look, I will show you how to wear it in a much safer way'.

'You must always make sure, Madam, that the strap is long enough to be able to put it right up over your head, like this and then over one shoulder, like this. This way you can control and hold your bag to you at all times as you walk'.....Look Madam, like this.' he said as he adjusted the strap on his shoulder, and with one hand clutching the bag in front, the other held nonchalantly in mid air he minced around the handbag department to demonstrate.

Finally, he sashayed back to me, and stood with one foot splayed out to his side, and with  one hand still clutching the bag, the other on his hip. and with one raised eyebrow looked at me and said 'Well,....Madam,.,,,, what do you think?

Well! ...you've won me!....... I'll  take it!

After I had made my purchase, and loaded my belongings into my new bag. I thanked him for his help and threw the strap over my head and my shoulder as instructed, then minced my way out of the store and threw my slashed  bag into the nearest Harrod's rubbish bin!

This was the first time I was mugged in London............Stay tuned for the second!